Schmear Campaign

Sam and Jake search for the best bagels in Austin, Texas. New episodes every Sunday.

Episodes

32: Trianon Coffee

Sep 10, 2023

Sep 10, 2023

56 min

The guys check out a cute place with a strange name. They discuss World War II, a new Putin conspiracy, and Jake's disdain for coffee urns. What is this show even about anymore? Have a good Sunday!

Sep 4, 2023

1hr 12 min

The bagel boys go to brunch with Jose and Terra to celebrate the plight of the worker. Jake loves bagels. What is that spectral ooze in their cream cheese? RIP Smashmouth. 

30: Crepe Crazy

Aug 27, 2023

Aug 27, 2023

48 min

The guys go to a very unlikely spot for bagels. They discuss their bagels on the road. Jake gets a very disgusting combination and regrets it.

Aug 20, 2023

54 min

The guys endure shitty bagels to reveal the truth about this classic rivalry. Which terrible place for bagels has the best bagel? The answer probably won't surprise you, but it did surprise Sam. Plus bagel bites, scrotox, schmear campaign tattoos, and Jake hoping this pod will never take off.

28: Magnolia Cafe

Aug 13, 2023

Aug 13, 2023

1hr 1 min

The guys have a lovely Monday afternoon bagel at the classic Magnolia Cafe. Jake discusses his LA bagel quest. They talk about fart-fluencers. And Jake discusses the biggest benefit to being a remote worker.

Aug 6, 2023

1hr 9 min

Our good friend, and sourdough starter dominatrix, Russell bakes us some fresh sourdough bagels using his abused and neglected starter. He tries to convince us all bread is sourdough (it's not) and we unsuccessfully try to uncover his dark goyish upbringing.

26: Foxtrot

Jul 30, 2023

Jul 30, 2023

1hr 10 min

Sam has a bad time at Foxtrot and leaves a 1 star review on Google. Is Austin dying? Rosen's wholesale bagels are still killing it somehow. If you make toasts in your restaurant, stop bogarting those toppings and let us put them on a bagel.

25: Easy Tiger

Jul 23, 2023

Jul 23, 2023

42 min

The guys get into a philosophical discussion about whether the new pretzel bagels at Easy Tiger are even bagels. Perhaps they're just round pretzels. Are they even good? Perhaps not. Why is it even called Easy Tiger? Don't tell us to take it easy you German shmucks.

24: Panera

Jul 16, 2023

Jul 16, 2023

1hr 4 min

Jake tells prime anecdotes about his past employment with Panera. Sam tries out Big Daddy Bagels in Colorado. The guys have a disturbing experience at the worst Panera in Austin.

Jul 9, 2023

1hr 13 min

The guys discuss the jizz biz. They have an authentic New York experience. Other shit happens. Have a good brunch y'all.

Get Schmeared

Sam and Jake are two Jews from Austin who love bagels and have strong opinions. They're on the hunt for the absolute best bagels in town. Follow their journey. Eat the bagussy. Taste the tang.

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